Friday Mistakes made.

So for all those who thought, "Hey Brandon your gonna be a good dad" You fucking dumb, tell that shit to my kid. Who when I pick him up or he sees me he screams his head off. I can sit and rock him, feed him etc and all he does is scream. However Andrea's nephew takes him and does the same and he falls asleep in his arms. That is good?enoyable? etc? I am glad I have a kid, but when Andrea isn't home don't ask me if I would take it back becuase your not gonna like the anwser. When Andrea is holding him ALL DAY, like she has had to do after he got his shots (3 days) I love having him. When I have school at 5am and Randy is dead tired but to stupid to sleep, I hate it.
So the son I thought was going to be a great idea has back fired on me and become a screaming monster. I have never seen any other child the screams when his father touches him, like I am a complete stranger. I try and hold him for like 5-10mins like 4-5 times a day, but holding a kicking screaming baby is about as fun as slamming you fingers in a door. I can now see why so many adult turn to drinking. You do everything you can for your child for them to turn your back on you.
For those expecting another child keep your fingers crossed I have a GREAT job where I never have to be alone with my next kid. Go ahead tell me how the next one could love me and only want to be held by me etc etc etc. every weekend it is the same thing. Screaming, headaches, maybe 30-45 mins of sleeping per 5 hours until mommy gets home. Today is the first day it truly has effected my ability to do school, Since I have to be up at 5am.
I recently started looking in to meditation, becuase drinking is next, whatever I have to do to get some sleep, which is lame since I usally only need about 3hours to function well. Lets hope I can get to sleep before 2am.